Free puppy and kitty pickup on boxing day!

Nothing says Christmas like an adorable little puppy or kitten under the Christmas tree.  It's ever so cute when it's playing in the wrapping and bows!  Oh, wait...Bad dog, don't pee there!  Oh no, he just chewed up your Zhu Zhu!  What a mistake!  That's what this service is all about!  Just call up our little Kringle-mobile and we'll pick up your impulsive puppy or kitten mistakes!  Don't worry, you're kids will have so many new toys they won't even miss it!  No need to rehome, no need to find a farm for them to live out on.  We promise to give them a life filled with surprises!  References available from M. Vick upon request.

3 Easy Payments

The one bear is you and the other bear can be whomever you want it to be! Brad, George, Fabio, that guy who comes into the Hardee's at the truck stop sometimes. What's $99 divided by 3? Who knows, but it's a small price to pay for eternal happiness in bear form. Franklin Mint will do that for you because they understand you. They know that these bears are your sweet lady H. You would lie, cheat, steal, even kill to get them. That bridal bouquet comes with interchangeable ribbons too, so...no brainer.

Naughty Nicholas

 Nicholas got all dressed up in his Christmas best and what to his wondering eyes did appear? Why  a lump of coal in his stocking, as it did every year. The embroidory on his stocking reads the name "mistake" and mommy and daddy are upstairs strung out and tanked. Nicholas dreams of gingerbread houses and holiday cheer but all to be found are stolen checks and empty cans of beer. And on this lovely Christmas morn, the 16 year old parents rue the day he was born. Oh but Nicholas will laugh last when he's older, successful and no longer around and he comes back at christmas and burns this place to the ground. Passed out from drugs, his parents will burn alive and in his new car, away Nicholas will drive. He's read all the books, he's covered his tracks, the cops will rule it an accident and Nicholas will never look back.

Merry Christmas, everyone!